What's the deal with Power Rangers?
by PowerSentai
Summary: Pushing the boundaries of crossovers just for fun. Obviously this isn't canon so, I'm not focusing too much on keeping things canon. For those that must know, this somehow takes place in seasons 8/9 of Seinfeld, and the Z-wave in Power Rangers never happened.
1. Chapter 1

-Monk's coffee shop-

"So how's it going with, uh,.. what's her name? The blonde." Elaine asked.

"It's going alright. Tomorrow's the sixth date. I think I'm about due." Jerry answered.

"Sixth? Dragging your feet a little there, aren't you?" George cut into the conversation.

"Well, I don't know. She's got issues apparently. Of the unresolved variety. Highschool boyfriend,.. hasn't been intimate with anyone since.. you know. All that. But tomorrow is it. If I don't get in by the sixth date, I'm out."

"Of course you're out. You're out right now. You're trying to get in." George said, followed by a snorting chuckle.

"Yes. Thank you. I'm trying to get in. If I'm not in, I'm out!" Jerry raised his hands into the air in mock exasperation.

"Yeah that's great. But what's her name?" Elaine asked again. She was disgruntled that Jerry had ignored the question.

"Her name is Kimberly."

"How'd you meet Kimberly?"

"I was doing a charity show. Some peace conference organization or something. I owed someone a favor."

"Well, I gotta go." George stood up. "I've got an appointment in China Town."

"You're not… the hair thing, again. Are you?" Jerry asked.

"This is different, Jerry! There's no cream. You just go to this clinic, and they say your hair fills out, like magic."

"They? Who's they?" Elaine asked.

"I overheard a phone conversation while I was in the bathroom." George answered her. He left quickly after.

"So how're you and Putty coming along?" Jerry asked Elaine.

"David? Oh we're broken up, right now. But, I think we're getting back together tomorrow."

"Well that's nice. It's good to have a regular ex."

Kramer walks in to the coffee shop as the waitress leaves the ticket for Jerry and Elaine. "Hey, buddy. I got that one. This is on me." He says, picking up the ticket.

"Okay. What brings this on?" Jerry asked.

"Thank you." Elaine said.

"I'm going to be rich here in a couple of days. Yeah, I'm thinking of buying this place, just so you guys can always get free food." "

Okay, thanks for the food, I'm headed back to work." Elaine grabbed her purse and made for the door.

"So what's your master plan, Mr. Moneybags? How are YOU getting rich in a couple of days?" Jerry asked.

"Me and Newman, we're going into business, -"

"That's enough. Here's my part of the bill, and some extra for your lunch." Jerry said. He rose out of the booth and dropped a twenty dollar bill on the table.

"But, Jerry! This can't miss! Me and Newman met this guy at the gym. He's built like Mount Rushmore. He's got so much muscle, it doesn't even look like he has any skin! He's ALL muscle. He says he can help anyone get that muscular. So we're going into business with him. He said he was going to make a whole army of tough dudes."

"Newman was at a gym?"

"Is that what you're focused on? I'm going to be rich, Jerry!"

"Yeah well, I'll see you around, skinless."

-Chinatown-

"I'm here for the hair." George walked into a small shop on a corner in China Town. "I mean, I heard about this place. It's like magic, they said."

"Mr. Constaza? Yes, I have your appointment. Please sign in, and I'll be with you in a bit." The woman tending the front desk turned her attention away from the window.

George tapped on the window. "It's Costanza, actually." He said with a nervous chuckle.

"Sign in." She said. She refused to turn her attention back to him.

George picked up the pen to sign in and saw that the numbered lines on the clipboard were all blank. "Excuse me." tapping on the window again. "Will it be long? I couldn't help but notice there's no one in the waiting room, or signed in before me. I'm sure you could understand I'm kind of anxious to have hair."

"Sign in." She said.

"Signing in. So.. is this a clinic? I mean is he a doctor? What am I in for, here?"

"SHE is on her break." The woman took the clipboard and pulled the shutter down on the front desk window, blocking George's view. After an hour of pacing the waiting room, the front window finally opened again. "Mr. Constaza? I'll see you now."

"Costanza, actually. Wait. YOU'LL see me now? YOU!? You had me waiting out here for an hour? What happened to my appointment? An appointment is a designated meeting time!"

"Yes. We met, when you signed in. Now come on through that door and we'll see what we can do about that bald spot."

George walked through the door, and found himself in the same room as the woman that was at the front desk. Credits were rolling on a television, and there was a half eaten bag of microwave popcorn on the desk next to her. "You had me waiting out there for an hour while you watched tv and made popcorn?"

"I was on my break." The woman seemed to be losing her patience with him. "Do you want hair or not?"

"Yes! Of course I want hair. But you know what I want more than that? I want to be treated like a HUMAN BEING! We're living in a society here. If you were going to take your break, that's fine, but you could have scheduled my appointment after your soap opera."

"What am I? An idiot? I'm not going to make my appointment after my show, when I don't know if you'll run late or show up at all. I'm not going to spend my time waiting around. I'm an empress!"

"Oh you're an EMPRESS? That's fantastic for you. So where's your staff, empress? What exactly are you an empress of? Empress of making people wait around?"

The woman stood, finally, from her chair and went to a door that George assumed was a closet. She opened it and pulled out a long staff with a crescent moon shape at the top. "This is my staff, and I'm an Empress of Evil. You want hair little man? I'll give you hair." The woman raised her staff and said some words that George didn't understand, before the staff fired a beam of light at his head.

-Next day. Elaine's office.-

"Elaine, we're having troubles down in the mail room. I understand that you made some changes down there when I was gone. Now it seems that everything is falling apart." Mr. Peterman said.

"You ready to go, babe?" Putty asked. He appeared at the door suddenly.

"I'm in a meeting, besides you're early. I said 5 o'clock. It's 4:40. Go wait in the hall."

"Yeah, okay. Here, I found a bunch of inter-office memos on the floor. Got them all where they needed to be except this one. It's for you." Putty handed Elaine the envelope and made his way back out into the hall.

"Astounding! What's that man's name?"

"What, him? That's Putty."

"Putty, eh? He's punctual and knows how to follow through. That's exactly what we need in the mail room."

"Yeah well, good luck. He's a car salesman, I don't think he wants to work in your mail room."

"Well, there must be more like him out there, Elaine. Put an ad in the paper. We're hiring Putties!" Mr. Peterman walked out of the room.

-fancy restaurant-

"So you went to the Pan Global games as a gymnast out of Highschool? Then you joined the World Peace Summit? I thought you were a volunteer. Maybe even doing a bit of community service." Jerry asked. He and Kimberly were at a restaurant enjoying their dinner.

Kimberly giggled at Jerry's suggestion of community service. "I gave up a lot. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it." she said.

"Well, I can't say enough about how much I love a good gymnast. And joining the Peace Summit, well it's peace. It's gotta be worth it. And even if it wasn't worth it, what's past is past. You left it behind, forget about it. Let's live in the present. The here, and now, and maybe a little bit later tonight." Jerry raised his wine glass in a toast.

"Okay. Yeah. To the here and now." Kimberly raised her glass also. After dinner Jerry and Kimberly ran into Elaine and Putty walking into the restaurant.

"Ohhhh Hiiii" Elaine said, dragging Putty towards Kimberly and Jerry.

"How ya doing?" Jerry asked. Kimberly walked next to him, but seemed to be distracted.

"Kimberly this is Elaine and her.." Jerry began introductions.

"Boyfriend." Elain said.

"Elaine and her brand new boyfriend Putty."

"What?" Kimberly turned around quickly to face Elaine and Putty. She had brought her hands up level with her chest, and her fists were clenched tightly.

"Oh. Hi. Sorry. I'm Kimberly." She relaxed her hands and offered one to Elaine.

"Okay. Well we'll see you later. We're headed out now." Jerry waved at Elaine and Putty and pulled Kimberly along by her hand. Once out on the street they began walking. "So, back to my place, right?"

"I'm sorry, Jerry. I just had a lot of old memories resurface. I think I'm just going to go home." "But this was our sixth date! Six! That's unheard of in this day and age." "I know, Jerry. I was looking forward to it too. Look I'm sorry about tonight, but I'll make it up to you, I promise. Seven is going to be a VERY lucky number for you. I'll call you tomorrow." Kimberly kissed his ear, and walked on without him.


	2. Chapter 2: Things get ridicurous

-Jerry's Apartment. Next day.-

"So are you in, or out?" Elaine asked.

"I'm somewhere in between. She said seven is going to be my lucky number, so I'll find out tonight." Jerry said.

There was a buzzing sound, and Jerry pressed the button to see who it was. "It's George."

Jerry pressed the release so George could come up to his apartment. Jerry and Elaine waited in silence, not having much to say. George walks in wearing a baseball cap, pulled a bit too tightly over his head. Dark brown, lustrous hair could be seen flowing out of the bottom of it.

"Hey Georgey! How's the do?" Jerry asked.

"Wow, it's so lustrous! Let's see the rest." Elaine said.

"No. Nobody's seeing anything. Forget it."George said.

"Why not? It looks great. Give us a look." Jerry continued to urge George.

"No. It didn't take, okay? Just forget it."

"Didn't take? But you've got a flowing mane there." Elaine said.

"It didn't work okay? Just, FORGET IT!" George barely contained a yell.

"GEORGE IS GETTING UPSET!" A muffled female voice said.

"I'm sorry, what?" Jerry asked.

"What? Nothing. No one said anything. If we're not doing anything, I'm gonna go." George said, moving towards the door.

"GEORGE IS PANICKING. HE'S FREAKING OUT, MAN." The voice said again.

"Hold on a second there, speedy." Jerry got between George and the door.

"Jerry. I gotta go Jerry. Let me outta here." George said.

"Where is that voice coming from? It sounds like your mom,.. but more.. Asian-y." Elaine said.

"George. I'm afraid I'm going to have to confiscate the hat." Jerry said.

"Don't do it, Jerry. " George brought his hands to the hat to keep it on his head.

"GEORGE IS SCARED." The mystery voice announced. Jerry grabbed the hat off George's head to reveal a thick dark mane. The hair shined like an otter's wet pelt. "George is afraid the jig is up." The hair flapped while it spoke. It looked like a bird flapping its wings to take flight. Elaine moved to the recliner, from the sofa, to get further away from George.

Jerry stared for a second. "I told you not to go to Chinatown." Jerry gave George the cap back, and got out of the way of the door.

"Thank you for your compassion." George sighed.

"George is regretting it now." The hair spoke.

"Why does it sound like your mother?" Elaine asked.

"It doesn't, it sounds like the witch that did this to me. She just happens to sound a bit like my mother. Except more Asian-y." George said.

Kramer walks in the door and George pulled the hat firmly over his head. "I'm gonna go." George said.

"George is making tracks." The hair mumbled. George was out of the apartment facing away from Kramer when the hair spoke.

"I think he's got something in his throat. He sounds like an Asian woman." Kramer said. He made his way to Jerry's drawers and started rummaging around. "You got any straws, Jerry?"

"Straws? What am I, a daycare?"

Kramer closes the drawer in frustration. "I need straws. That bodybuilder guy is coming over to discuss business with me and Newman. He's got some major dental work, man. Eats everything through a straw. That reminds me, I need your blender too." Kramer grabs the blender from the counter behind him.

"So what's this guy's name anyway?" Elaine said.

"Lord Zedd."

"Lord Zedd? LORD?" Elaine asked.

"Yeah. Lord Zedd, Emperor of Evil. He's a bit eccentric, but who of us isn't?" Kramer said with a half smile.

"Who of us, indeed." Jerry said. "So, he calls himself evil? And you want to go into business with him?"

"It's just for show, Jerry. C'mon, no one is evil. He just wants to be loved, like everyone else. You know how I know he's a good guy? He's a fan of Power Rangers. Yeah, won't stop talking about them. Power Rangers this, and Power Rangers that. I'm going to introduce him to my friend Bob Sacamano. His nephew is a Power Ranger."

"What's a Power Ranger?" Elaine asked. Now that George and his hair were gone, she had moved closer to the conversation.

"You know. Power. Ranger. They're electricians that were in the army. It's a play on words. Look I gotta go buy some straws. I'll talk to you later." Kramer made his way out the door, holding Jerry's blender.

Elaine made her way to the door too. "That's interesting, I should keep that in mind next time Peterman needs me to find an electrician. Power Rangers. Yeah, it has a nice ring to it." Elaine stood at the door and looked at Jerry, while Kimberly appeared behind her. "Easy to remember. Power Rangers. Anyway, I've got to go hire some putties." Elaine turned. "Oh! Hi, Kimberly. I'm just on my way out. Have fun."


	3. Chapter 3: Hierarchy of evil

"Power Rangers? What do you know about Power Rangers?" Kimberly asked as she walked into Jerry's apartment.

"You mean you've heard of them? I just heard about them right now. My neighbor's, friend's nephew is a Power Ranger apparently."

"REALLY? Do you know what team?" Kimberly asked.

"No idea. Kramer would probably know what chapter he's in. I'm sorry, I guess you call them teams."

"Can you ask him, please?"

"Sorry he's not home right now. He said he was going to go buy some straws for his guest coming over later."

"Oh. Does he have kids coming over?"

"No. That would make sense. He's got some business partner coming over. Some muscle man named Zedd. Sorry. He likes to be called Lord Zedd, Emperor of Evil. Have you ever heard something so pretentious?"

Kimberly's face dropped and she fell backward on the couch. She looked slightly out of breath.

"Lord Zedd is coming here? That can't be right. He's going into business with your neighbor? Elaine is hiring putties? Who are you people?"

"Are you okay? You want some water or something?" Jerry ran to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water to give to Kimberly.

"What's the big deal? It's just some pretentious guy Kramer met at the gym. Although he apparently has some major dental issues that he can only eat and drink through a straw."

George walks in.

"George is lonely." his hair said.

"Jerry. I don't want to be alone with this thing." George said, then he noticed Kimberly.

"Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting. Hi. I'm George."

"George is making time with Jerry's girl." his hair flapped.

Kimberly freaked out even more and moved as far away as she could get. She was standing against Jerry's window.

"I know that voice! Stay away from me."

"George, spread out, okay. Can't you see she's kind of wound up here. Back up." Jerry came to Kimberly's rescue.

"Don't mind him. He went down to Chinatown and got himself cursed or something, I don't know. I told him not to go."

George milled around in the kitchen, keeping his distance from Kimberly. "It was that woman, Jerry. She called herself the Empress of Evil. Her nametag said Rita though, so I don't know what to make of it."

"Wait a minute. Empress of Evil? Kramer's going into business with the Emperor of Evil. You think they're married?" Jerry asked.

"They'd kind of have to be. Otherwise what kind of evil hierarchy is this that has an Emperor and an Empress, without them being married? So, Kramer's going into business with the Emperor. I wonder if he can convince his wife to lift this curse." George said.

"Well Kramer has the Emperor coming over her in a few minutes. Maybe if you talk to him, he'll put in a good word for you."

"George is feeling positive!" the hair said.

"Are you guys even listening to yourselves? You're dealing with an Emperor and Empress of evil, and all you're worried about is your talking hair?" Kimberly finally put herself together.

"Well, it's kind of.. you know, inconvenient." George said.

"Inconvenient? How inconvenient is it going to be when they take over the world?" Kimberly asked.

"Will my hair still be talking if that happens?"

"You guys need to get the Power Rangers over here. You said your neighbor's nephew was one!"

"Kramer's friend's nephew, yeah. But what good is that going to do?"

"What do you mean what's that going to do? The Power Rangers are the only ones that can take on Rita and Zedd. I know, because I've done it. I was a Power Ranger!"

"You? When did you have time to be in the army, with all the gymnastics you were doing? And I still don't see how electricians are going to help keep evil from taking over the world, the way you say they're planning to."

"Alright. I think there's a lot of false information in this room, and we've got to get this sorted out, because this really is a dangerous situation." Kimberly said. She sat down and gestured for Jerry and George to sit down too.

"First of all, tell me what you know about Power Rangers." Kimberly asked Jerry.

"Kramer said they're electricians that were in the army. It's a play on words. Lord Zedd is a big supporter of Power Rangers, Kramer thinks, because he won't stop talking about them. And his friend, Bob Sacamano's nephew, is currently an electrician that was in the army. So he's a Power Ranger." Jerry summed up.

"Okay. That is completely wrong. About the only thing that makes sense there is that Zedd is always talking about Power Rangers. Power Rangers are warriors of Justice. They fight evil, and try to keep the world safe. And when I say fight, I mean literally fight. They can call upon great powers to morph their bodies. These morphed forms are stronger and faster than normal humans and help the Power Rangers stand toe to toe with the monsters that evil makes. When I was in highschool, I was the pink Power Ranger." Kimberly said.

"So.. they get teenagers to fight evil? Doesn't that seem a little.. irresponsible?" Jerry asked.

"Well, different teams use different methods to pick their candidates. But the point is Rita and Zedd are bad news. They tried to conquer the world when I was still the pink ranger."

"That was like.. what 15 years ago?" Jerry asked

"15 years? 15 years ago Rita was trying to conquer the world. Now she's running a hair clinic in Chinatown. HAH. Empress of Evil? More like Empress of going nowhere." George laughed.

"Yeah, I don't think they're so much of a threat anymore. Rita's running a hair clinic, and Kramer met Lord Zedd over at the gym. Nothing real sinister going on there. But even if they are, I mean you're a Power Ranger, right. You can do that morphing thing that you talked about?"

"I can't anymore. I gave my power away when I started taking the gymnastics thing more seriously."

Kramer walks in the door.

"Oh hey George you're here too, good. I want you guys to meet my new business partner. Lord Zedd."


End file.
